Writing is an art – an expression of skill, creativity, and in many cases, imagination. Writing research papers is no exception. Here we provide several examples of common ways to improve scientific writing.
Please note that these examples refer to specific sections of research papers, but generally apply to any section of a research paper.
Most research papers present data or information that the reader may not be immediately familiar with. For this reason, the importance of clarity and avoiding confusion cannot be overstated. For instance, a major source of reader difficulty is the presentation of text that is not accompanied by any information that orients the reader as to its organization or focus. That is illustrated in the following example (taken from a rough draft of a research paper):
Original Paragraph: “Mickelson (2013) found that sleep deprivation reduced procedural memory performance independently of procedural memory task ability. According to Maxwell (2015), sleep deprivation reduces cognitive performance; however, its effects on prospective memory are unknown. In that study, they found that sleep deprivation can reduce participant’s performance during a finger-tapping task, which is caused by difficulties in staying aroused.”
To improve clarity, the use of topic sentences at the start of paragraphs can be especially helpful. The topic sentence alerts the reader as to the organization and focus of the text that follows. It also helps to ensure that each sentence follows the next in a logical, easy-to-read fashion. That can be aided by connective words and phrases (for example, the words and phrases furthermore, moreover, additionally, in addition, for example, etc.). Returning to the prior example, it can be modified as follows:
Improved Paragraph (key changes underlined): “Recent studies on the effects of sleep deprivation provide evidence that sleep can impact procedural learning and skills. For example, Mickelson (2013) found that sleep deprivation reduced procedural memory performance independently of procedural memory task ability. In addition, Maxwell (2015) found that sleep deprivation can reduce participant’s performance during a finger-tapping task, a finding that was attributed to difficulties in staying aroused. Together, these and other studies suggest that inadequate sleep has a deleterious effect on a wide range of tasks involving motor skills.”
The improved paragraph begins with a topic sentence (“Recent studies…”) and the subsequent sentences include connective phrases (“For example,…”, “In addition,…”). A concluding sentence (“Together, these…”) also summarizes the information that was presented in that paragraph.
As with topic sentences and connective words and phrases, the use of transition sentences can help improve readers’ ability to advance from one paragraph to the next or one idea to the next. This is especially important when two adjacent paragraphs discuss disparate topics. In the absence of those transitions, as illustrated in the example paragraphs below, readers may miss the main points of the text. They may also find the text unclear or even jarring to read in some cases.
Original Paragraphs: “Bargh, Chen, and Burrows (1996) demonstrated perhaps the most famous of “social priming” effects. In their study, participants completed a scrambled-sentence task and then left the laboratory. When the task included words that reflected old age stereotypes, participants were recorded exiting the experimenter room more slowly. Other researchers subsequently demonstrated social priming effects for other types of stereotypes and tasks. For instance, Dijksterhuis and van Knippenberg (1998) found that activation of soccer hooliganism stereotypes reduced performance on general knowledge tests.
Shanks et al. (2013) attempted to replicate several social priming effects across nine experiments. A Bayesian analysis found evidence in favor of the null hypothesis in all cases. Pashler, Coburn, and Harris (2012) attempted to replicate “spatial distance priming” effects (Williams & Bargh, 2008), in which plotting a pair of points affected participants’ reports of closeness with family members and food calorie estimates. Across two experiments, the original findings did not replicate.”
In the above example, the lack of a transition sentence can lead readers to be surprised by the content of the second paragraph (or even miss the contrast with the first). However, that problem can be easily remedied with such a sentence, for instance as follows:
Improved Paragraphs (key changes underlined): “…Other researchers subsequently demonstrated social priming effects for other types of stereotypes and tasks. For instance, Dijksterhuis and van Knippenberg (1998) found that activation of soccer hooliganism stereotypes led to reduced performance on general knowledge tests.
Although the “social priming” effects demonstrated by Bargh et al. (1996) and others seemed compelling to many observers, more recent work suggests that such effects do not reliably occur. Specifically, Shanks et al. (2013) attempted to replicate several social priming effects across nine experiments. A Bayesian analysis found evidence in favor of the null hypothesis in all cases. Similarly, Pashler, Coburn, and Harris (2012) attempted to…”
As illustrated in the improved paragraphs, the addition of a transition sentence at the start of the second paragraph (“Although those…”) alerts the reader to the contrast between the two paragraphs. Connective words and phrases also improve comprehension and flow. As such, the reader immediately knows that the studies discussed in the first paragraph are disputed by those in the second.
When reporting statistical results, it is often less desirable to describe those results in a technically-dense, matter-of-fact manner (for example, describing the analyses in the exact order that they were performed and without focusing on the most meaningful results, as shown below1).
Original Paragraph: “A two-way, 2x2 between-subjects ANOVA was performed on ratings of the vividness of childhood memories in which the independent variables were participant sex (male or female) and induced mood (happy, sad). There was no main effect for sex (F, p), but there was a main effect of mood, (F, p), and a mood by sex interaction (F, p). Happy people had more vivid memories than sad people, overall. This effect was stronger for women than it was for men. As can be seen in the results from Tukey’s studentized range test reported in Table 1, the vividness of happy and sad female participants’ memories differed significantly, but the vividness of happy and sad male participants’ memories did not.”
An improved (that is, completely rewritten) version of the prior paragraph organizes the statistical analyses in a more easily understood fashion, highlights the most important results, clearly relates the findings to the study hypothesis, and prefaces the entire paragraph with an introductory sentence that orients the reader (with major improvements underlined as shown below1).
Improved Paragraph (key changes underlined): “Table 1 provides the vividness ratings for men and women who experienced happy or sad moods. The childhood memories of men and women did not differ in vividness, (F, p). The most striking finding, however, was that the usual tendency for happy people to report more vivid memories than people in sad moods (F, p) was stronger for women than men, as indicated by a significant sex by mood interaction, (F,p). This finding is consistent with hypothesis that mood has a more pronounced effect on the quality of childhood memories among women than men and was confirmed with the Tukey’s studentized range test reported in Table 1.”
A further type of improvement in that paragraph is the use of phrases which directly connects results statements to their statistical evidence (“as indicated by”, “was confirmed with”), and makes it clear to the reader how the authors’ conclusions are supported. The improved paragraph also takes advantage of the fact that data are presented in a table by referring readers to that table at the outset.
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